We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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