don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
