at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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