Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
