the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
