We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
