Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
