I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is Oprah even human
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
