I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
