I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
