I have demons in me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
