wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
