Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
