So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
