White coat. Heels.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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