One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
