u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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