? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
