there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
