i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
