Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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