before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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