I don't think brook has ever known best
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
