where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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