i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We are two peas in an std pod
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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