pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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