i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
