GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
