i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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