He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
