i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Welp...herpes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
