My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
