He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
