I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
