How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
