i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
