I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
