Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
