she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
