Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
