When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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