Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
