What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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