Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Less talking, more tequila
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
