she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
