What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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