Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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