I feel like I'm in dance class right now
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
