Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
