VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
