Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
