I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
