My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
