he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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