Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
3 2 1 whiskey
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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