i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
