The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
